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My holiday to nowhere on board the Japanese airliner that never takes off

Above the hubbub of the airport lounge, my flight with Japan’s newest airline is being called over the public address system. I check the departures screen and confirm that my flight to Paris is on time and, a mere 10 paces later, I am being welcomed aboard the aircraft by a flight attendant in a smart uniform and a broad smile.

I am invited to ease into a pair of slippers bearing the logo of First Airlines Japan and to recline my seat before the attendants go through the safety procedures, including how to put on a life jacket in the event that we need to evacuate the aircraft after a crash landing on water.

Given that this aircraft has no wings, no cockpit and is on the eighth floor of an apartment…

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